N

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ NEOLOGISM A modern take on simplicity. Illustrated in the phrase ‘falling off a logism’. Describes an attitude of oversimplification that characterises the modern world.

Read more

M

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ MAELSTROM Guitar-playing gentleman MALE MENOPAUSE A rest break taken by postal workers. MANIFESTO a) An exclamation of surprise clearly expressed. b) (political)  A contract with a devil you don’t know. (see Pisstake) MASSEUR A

Read more

L

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ LABORATORY (political) Modern term for a politician who, from his views, could belong to either of the two main parties. LATE A cup of pretentious coffee that has gone cold. LATENCY Sexual anxiety LATENT

Read more

K

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ KERNEL A military nut. KINGDOM Contraceptive used by big heads of state. KNOW A well-informed refusal. Works best aurally. KRAKATOA Fractured metatarsal of any Italian footballer. Condition usually the result of an encounter with

Read more

J

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ JEALOUSY The feeling a person gets when they’ve lost their green-coloured gelatin dessert. JOB SEEKER’S ALLOWANCE Small publicly funded retainer for those searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Read more

I

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ I.B.S Irritable Banking Syndrome IMPLY Deception perpetrated by an elf. INCAPABILITY Lack of superhero powers. INCAPACITY BENEFIT a) Inca buzzer (in predictive text). b) The art of staying still without any desire for money.

Read more

H

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ HARD WATER AREA (Geog.) A region 66° 33′ 44″ north or south of the equator. HEDONISM A philosophical creed practised throughout the football season by Emile Heskey and Peter Crouch. HICKORY A soft malleable

Read more

G

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ GENTILE, GIOVANNI An Italian Idealist philosopher. Not to be confused with the Italian football defender whose philosophy was based on the ideal of making a moving body inert through the intervention of any part

Read more

F

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ FACEBOOK The ‘activity’ of talking to a wall. FART a) Post-modern computer generated art. b) Opportunistic blowhards that stink. FAILURE (political)  An obsolete educational term. FECKLESS The overly polite term for criticising the proletariat.

Read more

E

http://www.theinconsequential.com/diki/ EERIE A frightening place to take a brooding female back to for romance. EFFICACY (Obs.) Blaming the football for the lack of skills and entertainment. EMOTIVE Virtual reason for actions and behaviours. ENTREPRENEURIALISM The

Read more