Mini Ads – Issue 32


Lightning Rods for sale. Only used once before. Ideal for churches and tall houses. Sorry, no good for tents and other temporary dwellings.

See Roger, or one of his representatives, usually found in your local mall. Strictly cash transfer only.


Millions of them. Even though there are more people in work than ever, we at Toying-With-U Time Occupation Agency are advertising 200 jobs a minute so there’s no excuse for not fulfilling your DWP work criteria. Apply for loads of unsuitable jobs and get no feedback in return.*

We do not condone feckless unemployed or underemployed but do advise not wasting employers’ the six seconds with the use of outmoded white words.

We can help with a new lexicon of buzzwords that, although not guaranteed to secure a job, will be high scoring at Scrabble.

Apply yourself now and phone 0789-Oh Boy and reignite your career downhill.


Carpe Caesarium! Beware the Ideas of May.


Float your ideas on the latest range of water tables. A vast array of sizes available on request. Don’t forget to state required height and area in square yardage.

Ring Eddie’s Boatyard, on mob: 0789-Oh really, for a quote quicker than a quiz contestant.


Autodidacticism for beginners. This unique course is open to anyone wanting to learn a more varied curriculum of their own making. On completion of your first payment, you will be sent a mirror,so you can see who your teacher will be.

Apply within.

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