News Real 5 – Issue 31

Doesn’t it just warm the corners of your drafty, ill-served flat?

A billionaire anti-democrat married a woman whose notoriety is ‘falling in love’ with rich men.

The ceremony was held in The Global Church of Condescension.

A medium is being troubled by psychic interference. She is hearing voices of folks still technically alive using her service to talk to anyone they can.

Apparently these poor folks’ places of work are applying no talking policies to such extents that the modern automata are keen, nay desperate, to have their voices heard by absolutely anyone, living or dead.

Scientists at a lab not near you have revealed the findings of their latest research in cures.

A spokesman said, “We’re not quite sure what it’s a cure for yet but we’ve firmly established that it will be expensive.”

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