News Real 6 – Issue 30

TO BE HONEST OR NOT TO BE HONEST

DC Comics, otherwise known as the Tory government, is trading new casual Friday t-shirts for every House of Commons members to wear. The clothing has the simple legend, “Je suis un charlatan,” as a move to promote open government. On the back of the t-shirt there’s the legend, in much smaller print, “Je suis désolé.”

The opposition leader, Jez Corblimey, has already said he would not wear such propagandist guff. The Tories have accused him of being a communist because the sales of the t-shirt – or at least it’s stated position – will go to a children’s charity that will, despite government privatisation of its staff and services, be expected to have a rise in their customer base of vulnerable children.

WOULD YOU ADAM AND EVE IT?

Eve said she was very worried for Adam’s well-being after the fall.

Social archeologists have uncovered oral evidence that the first woman was very contrite and concerned about her first husband, the first man, following their expulsion from the garden.

“Ad went into a right fugue of depression and it was only my best TLC that saw him through in the years after the fall,” she apparently told the first person that was willing to listen. “In the beginning I used to rib him about the serpent incident but as time wore on I realised the seriousness of the situation. Ad was very depressed and blamed me for it all but I persisted and blew away the blues orally, as we had no means of written communication at the time,” added the mother of us all (except Jesus).

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