Jos Bitumen Archive Window – Issue 24

More evidence has been unearthed to confirm Jos’s darkest mind, brought on by a revisit to his native New Zealand as special guest of the NZ Poetics and Semantics Association annual award ceremony.


a life of abysmal self-deception bling trophy hunting

winning empty, self-serving tokens from truths

rendered merely apparent

left to certainly rue the certified day

reading others as sacred texts

taking one bad lecture after another

sermonising to a room already emptied

of course, they could see me coming

Scaling the heights of a declining slope

striving to reach the bottom of the pit of despair

strewn with cosmetic patches and bad conscience

turning dissent to whispering vapour


His mood seems to darken in the final piece before he was ejected on the grounds that he was depressing the price of lamb and mutton. This piece was never written down and is kindly reproduced with the permission of Jos’s friend Jack Thelad, a boyhood correspondent friend – pen pal – of Jos’s who remained in NZ and became a successful sheep farmer. Jos delivered it orally and off the cuff, adding the last two lines when horizontal being carried out by the authorities. Jack was there and had a tape recorder in the audience.


shepherding us around like we had nothing to say

making damned sure we are only herd

reluctantly feeding us so we don’t dip in productivity

what terrible wolves and foxes hunting a buck

our livelihoods being whisked quietly away

by people with all the charm of a regurgitated turd

allowed to run roughshod by appalling passivity

in the face of merchants who don’t give a fuck

telling us our dissent is whining while they dine

on the fruits of our labour intensive conveyor belt line

bleating on and on and on about bloated woolly things

What, a load of sheer fatuous baaaaaaastaaaaaards


It is believed that there were two concluding lines to come which were never delivered, as Jos was immediately deported without being allowed to pick up any of his luggage, which may have included some draft of his outburst.