News Real – Issue 21


The word was spread like so much processed fertiliser, that the group in Gossamer House has sold off all Faeryland’s magic. Nobody knows who the mystery buyers are. The media never mentioned but reiterate what a good deal Faeryland has received in the sell off.

Some factions, particularly Peter Pannites are convinced the magic had been stolen by one or two of the humans the government and its acolytes had brought from the human realm to advise on policy.

It was only after a few months, a spritely philosopher of the elvish community, called Sejus, began espousing a view that the magic taken from Faeryland was not a materialistic, mechanistic entity to be bartered and commodified, but a spirit within. This spirit is in all inhabitants of Faeryland, but, since the project of stealing humans for political development, the magic had begun to disappear as faith in ourselves reduced.

Even within his own community, even his family (adopted as it is not clear how Sejus came to be) shouted him down when he talked of this shared spirit.

“it is only our fear of freedom to realise our Faery potential that keeps us from what we call magic.”

“But how can we fight against the reality?” A member of the crowd replied.

“By not recognising its tenets, by denying its absolute credibility. If we, in our personal dealings our individual behaviours, refuse to participate by thought and deed, then its power will diminish, and its brokers will lose their influence over us all.” He then added, “Do you mean to (intend) telling our children of this so-called immutable, yet ever changing in its representation of itself, reality that fails to describe what we are? Such cynicism will deny any prospect of real change and merely perpetuate a state of non-existence. We need to re-establish that sense of joy in fairness – the essence of our faeriness – we must ask better questions, more fundamental to that side of our nature that yearns for reality referring to us and not dead, materialistic, abstract notions of ourselves that are, in effect, nihilistic. What we are now doing is only a period of self-doubt, a time when we are being deceived into effort and commitment to nothing we can recognise as ourselves: the imaginative minority is dictating to us a morally, ethnically reductive identity even they don’t fully believe. Yet it is being peddled as the one, the only reality possible. This is where the magic has gone, and yes, it has been stolen, it is being sold off, but not by any outside agencies, only by ourselves. All without any kind of profit.”

The new Fairy cake wars are raging in the realm as a number of factions are warring over possession of the specialised confectionery to raise money for recently formed charities. The latest front saw apple pie crust all over the place.


A new game is being played in the corridors of power with a renewed coalition fervour: Public Purse Raider is a capital adventure game where only those with their finger in the pie-chart can pick up treasure while the taxpayer picks up the bill.

The character-hero, Liar Crafty, will chart a labyrinthine course through tough legislation but with privileges in the game, he will be mostly unaffected by the level called, Years Of Cuts. On this level LC has the task of finding that elusive job, so, when confronted by the demon proletariat, can appease the monster with promises of more like it again. Once past this ordeal, LC will discover much treasury and will not be required to look in the face of job tenure again.

NB: For those wanting to experience their own lives there is a Proletarian version called Benefits 2.0, which has to be paid for twice and is not tax-deductible.


At the recent Fades Union Congress, members didn’t vote but were told they had to accept any given reality an employer produces. The logic of acceptance and self-serving justification of their own executive posts was less than vigorously discussed before a quick F&A session ended the first day’s proceedings.

The newest celebrity member, Sooty, was warmly received by the members and executive alike. Sooty has formed the Good Puppets Union. There was a moment of controversy when one of the younger members from the Mother’s Union cried out during Sooty’s address. The incident was defused when the member was given a tit to suck on – he was just very, very hungry.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *