Media Page – Issue 21

TV

A new comedy series has emerged from the annals of time and motion; Persuasion is a comedy for these austere times as it has so few laughs. Patiently watching the unfunny movements of The Inane family, a well-to-do landed gentry dynasty who wander around blandly perpetrating the kind of class comedy last seen in the early part of the last century. The saving grace is the fact that the series gives jobs to some well-known and much forgotten comedy character actors.

The martial arts series, THE PROFIT MARGIN returns with a special austerity run. Lian Shan Poface continues her pilgrimage to the CBI EGM in Birmingham. She encounters many struggles with out of work character actors and made redundant office workers, but her entrepreneurial spirit sees her employ part-time, temporary mercenaries to fight her battles. It is still dubbed into layman’s speech due to the prevalence of business jargon.

 CINEMA

A CLOCKWORK LEMON MERINO is being nationally released next week.

This stark, hard-hitting arty polemical film has stunned early critics with such unforgettable lines as, “Just going to the agency for a bit of the old in-out,” that refers to employment rather than sex.

A pertinent scene the populace are likened to bottles of maleko, lining up on the step of the big house, waiting to be collected and filled up at the education factory, whilst being immediately replaced by fresh, low-fat creamy-headed bottles of white.

Critics have said this alludes to the racist, coercive capitalist infrastructures that destroy any connectedness between education and the world of recidivist power structures of modern industrial unrelations.

“I only vomited twice, during the credits.” Alex Drongo, Reflux Monthly

The radically ironic film, by Sam Quinten, PULPED FACTION will be on general release, meaning London, next month.

At the press showing, the catchy lines were sung by all, even the ice cream seller: “Crowns to the left of me, Jocularity to the right, ‘Ear I am, stuck in the midden with you.”

“An earthy and hard-hitting historical re-enactment for our times.”  Dick Pencil, Sketchy Times Monthly

BOOKS

A new novel called BACK PASSAGE TO INDIA charts the route of a developed country and its best representatives, who regularly contribute to the downward route to third-world conditions. Its author, I.M. Forced-Labour said of his book that he tried to show how ironic it is that all roads seem to lead to closing the gap between the two cultures, especially the divide between the lower-classes in each country.

“I loved the motif of the white elephant that informs the book’s ideology.” Anne Achronism , Old Times Review

MAGAZINES

EMASCULATION  hits the stalls and the first issue includes a fashion range of menswear. The Feudal range for the serf around universal credit will clothe the discerning proletarian and the better-off slum it with elan. There’s also a set of spherical cufflinks with a relief map of the very small world of commerce. There’s also a prostrating pouch for the dandy willing to go the extra furlong.

The sister magazine of the above publication, the E-Mask Ululation will make primitive noises for the symbolically pre-speech new woman who wants to but cannot express, due to an absence of a  language reflecting a dynamic self, the industrial relations zeitgeist that victimises the female gender through tactical moves that predetermine women’s role in the modern commercial world.

The upper palatal song sheet included as downloads online, will help the readership make all the right noises.

Songs list includes:

Que Sirrah, Sirrah; Don’t release me, let him go; I’ll Do Anything; Ain’t No Subsistence When its (the job) Gone; Sorry Seems To Be The Easiest Word; Wish Me Luck As You Waive Contracts Goodbye; Profits Swell, When My Job Ends; Part-Time Worker; The Lord Is My Exploiter, He Shall Not Want.

THEATRE

The existential drama, ONE MAN AND HIS DOG has opened to very small crowds. In fact at one showing, a couple of merino sheep turned up and bleated about the lack of action in the first act before being ejected for not buying an ice cream in the interval.

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