News Real – Issue 20


There is a new art installation in Penge, Guadalajara. The artist formerly known as Modernist God has made a deal with the owners of Chimera financial outlets, to designate branch 2B as his latest artistic concept.

The ensemble piece is called, with genius simplicity, Bank, and it is also a working, functioning outlet. MG has produced a narrative which is displayed prominently about the branch, that explains how it induces the art public to question the values of financial commerce as a controlling idea, whilst taking advantage of its 24-hour banking.

The fully functional cash-till inside the branch is a parody of the one on the outside of the building, because it exists in juxtaposition yet in conflicting ideational dichotomous relation to its exact copy outside. The insideness of the till highlights the hybridised and authoritarian nature of our relationship to cash-tills. They are giving yet are taking not only our attention but our very souls, and coercing a belief in the philanthropy of mechanisms that are, in effect, institutionalised one-arm bandits.

The posters around the building are severely ironic as they encourage saving yet are designed to entice the acceptance of a widening class divide in terms of economic freedom through cultural, and somewhat frivolous spending.

There is particular irony in the word interest as its brilliant ambiguity is accentuated by the varying numbers and percentage symbols offering comfort in our growing dependency on those very institutions that perpetuate our victim status in society.

MG currently deposits the results of his radicalising concept of art in the Swiss and Monte Carlo branches of Chimera, as it is less taxing for the artistic genius. And MG does give to certain high-profile charities.


In Faeryland the austerity measures move on apace.

The fireflies have been fully privatised – the public subsidy just isn’t mentioned anymore in public – and their glow’s price has been hiked by a whopping 17% for domestic users. They also now have a standing charge that constitutes two-thirds of the cost.

The unemployment rate amongst Garden Gnomes has quadrupled but as there is no such thing as a supportive benefits system, the majority are reduced to eating public grassland for sustenance.

Meanwhile at Gossamer House, the ‘incumbents’, who recently announced an indefinite term in office after a hung parliament in the last, very last, free election, are living it up. Animal Farm has become a public information film, shown at least twice a day on every technological device that carries a signal. Lately, some of the FMPs have been seen cavorting at Qatarpillar Balls, wining and dining and claiming the whole cost on expenses.

Leprechauns are being charged for any space over their heads, whilst the Head Goblin is able to live in any one of his four dwellings, making high claims on each for even the most basic item that for any other being would be ‘cost of living’ expenses.

A common or garden bug mentioned this situation to a daily newspaper but was crushed under the weight of propaganda produced by the authorities.

Even our reports are becoming harder to procure as all dissidence is being constantly insecticided.

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