Short (er) Story

"If you thought the cold war was bad... You should have seen the   sub-zero war between the Alaskans and the Eskimos. It was brutal!"

"What happened?"

"Oh it was terrible. It started when the Alaskan children accused  the Eskimos of ice picking on them. Of course the Eskimos claimed  there wasn't a snowball's chance of that. It eventually escalated  until thousands of guys got iced, many of the eskimos had their    noses rubbed in it. It almost turned into an all-out bloodbath, butthey decided it was too cold and they were short on towels. After  what felt like an ice age of fighting they tried to have a cease   fire.... But nobody could find any matches!"

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