News Real – Issue 16

With parliament in recess, democracy took an all-expenses paid holiday when yet another sell-out happened.
This time it was the ailing water industry’s latest bargain hunter, a conglomerate from HK – ironically a former UK colony.
“Ask not for who the tap turns, it turns for Li.” a well-read pundit commented.
“This is yet another bad example of drip-down politics.“ We commented.
In cliched, stereotypical fashion, the conglomerate’s leader came out with a wise saying:
“If you do nothing and catch the rain in upturned hands, employ proles and experts to turn it into a saleable commodity, you will become rich, in deed as well as thought.”
Apparently, according to NofW on Sunday, George Washington lied about the apple incident.
In another development of globalisation, Boggle Earth, the wizard search engine and visualisation of the planet tool, is collaborating with Job Centre Plus, to help find at least one of the many jobs lost recently.
As Oscar Wilde said once, at least, in his play, The Importance of Being Ernst & Young, “To lose one job is forgivable, to lose 30,000 is just carelessness.”
In the spirit of mild-hysteria comedy, an agency recently told a prospective employee, “Here, John, I’ve got a job for you, only don’t tell anyone else here, because they’ll all want one.”

Connor Undrum has become the first self-employed person to be sacked. He’s attending the tribunal for unfair dismissal and will sit on both sides of the desk.
“I had to cut the job as I was asking too much in my terms and conditions. I simply cannot afford to pay myself such good wages and pension provision.”
When it was pointed out to Connor that in fact he would benefit from any decision he made other than one he did make, he replied, “Well, try telling me that!”
It is rumoured that Mr. Undrum will have his case dismissed and be referred to an economic advisor for further treatment.

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