Letters – Issue A5

Dear Sores,

I find your magazine as compelling and irritating as a rash on the bum, and as difficult to ignore. I just can’t stop looking at it in a mirror, and then scratching at the knobbly nuances of argument and comedy.
Can you see your way to include a story about antiseptic cream in your next issue, otherwise I may not be able to sit down, anymore.
Yours
Brendan Behind.

Eds: Thanks, Brendan, we suffer the ecstasies of suffering, producing the mag, really.

Dear Sirius,

I was fascinated to read your piece on Jos Bitumen. Because having met him in a psychiatrist’s waiting room in Harley Street, I think you capture his character well. Although, when I last fell over his prone, tortured body, he was quite optimistic of a cure for his poetry. He said he needed to ink more deeply, so that even his lightest stuff could be seen.
Yours paranoiacally,
Lord Sandladies.

Eds: Thanks, we fully understand what it is like to be a misunderstood genus.

 

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