Uneasy Listening – Issue 14

They’ve said it – written it on a previously blank piece of paper, so we can assume they meant it – Now, what can we glean from these pearls of wis-dom?

THIS ISSUE: Witchy Woman
And there’s some rumours going ‘round
Someone’s underground
She can rock you in the nighttime
‘Til your skin turns red

At first this looks like a lyric describing a move by workers to reopen coal mines only to be thwarted by scabs and grasses that have circulated their plans. There’s also a possible allusion to the famous person who did in fact destroy the miners, with the irony of the irritant turning anything other than deep blue.
In this pseudo-rock ditty we can only think that the eponymous dark lady uses scourers or a ‘rocky’ carborundum stone, or indeed has such rough skin, that rubbing up against her in the implied sexual nature of the nighttime liaison, would cause severe irritation, requiring copious amounts of soothing balm and cream to bring your lobster raw body back to earth.
Or being a witchy woman she may shape-shift and become a very rough wooden rocking chair that tenderises your skin as you gently move back and forth wondering just who is underground at that time of night.
I didn’t want to approach the probable inference in ‘skin turns red’ as it would seem like I, and not the would be cock-rockers that penned this drivel, wanted to refer to such as raw foreskin after a night’s rocking with a woman with breasts as wizened as the public purse. Don’t blame me, I didn’t write this mind-boggling tosh. Perhaps she merely causes blotchy skin? She is a naughty witch!

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