News Real – Issue 12.1


Mr Thomas Thom has appeared in the top ten of the world’s richest men alive, even though he is actually dead.
The actuarial anomaly happened due to the diligence and skill of Mr Thom’s lawyer cum medium Megan O’Bytes. Ms Bytes argued so well that Mr Thom was able to take his money to the grave.
Moreover, Mr Thom continues to accrue wealth from his name still being active on the letterheads of five of the world’s most successful companies.
Although Ms Bytes could not prevent Mr Thom’s status being reduced to non-executive despite her proving that the companies do still consult him for his business acumen, being an ex-MP, through the use of a corporate Ouija Board for Directors. A move first thought up  in consideration of the average age of directors being well over the proletarian retirement age, as was.
When asked, at the last séance, Mr Thom reiterated his intention never to  retire, “My aches and pains are immaterial, it’s my enthusiasm for accumulation of personal wealth that motivates me and it will for eternity.”
Some onlookers became somewhat sceptical of the veracity of the meeting when they noticed Mr Thom, being fully represented by Ms Bytes, constantly said gusiness when referring to the monetary exchanges being discussed.

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