October 2009: the year disappears so fast and do any of us really know where the time goes? We’re just a handful of weeks away from that time of the year when we’re visited once again by shapeless ghouls, brain-dead creatures of the night and pumpkin-headed demons, but once we’ve got the managers’ back-to-the-floor session out of the way, we can look forward to Halloween and all its scary delights.
Of course, even before that, your ever-attendant editors bring you some scary delights of their own: shaking Sharkey, sinister Soap Suds, eerie Ethics Girls and the ultimate in fart-inducing fear, The Chairman in Hell. Yes, you hold in your hand Issue 10 of your literally unmissable, frighteningly almost-popular periodical, The Inconsequential.
As ever, I have no wish to detain you on your way to enjoying your favourites, but I feel that now we’ve reached double figures and shown, consequently, that we mean to stay, the time is right to reiterate our reasons for producing our little effusion. This is even more necessary as it has come to your editors’ notice that an almost Fascistic approach to free speech prevails in our current environment. A decree banning the circulation of unauthorised newsletters/magazines was issued just a few weeks ago, clearly aimed at our inoffensive publication. Indeed, this edict prevented the normal wider-spread distribution of Issue 9 meaning many of our loyal readers will have missed the gems contained within. It is in this light then that I quote from the editorial of Issue 1: “…we aim to provide an antidote to the poisonous, stifling atmosphere of sterility, rigidity, and clinical cynicism that pervades our daily existence. In doing this, if we manage to raise a highbrow, or less lofty, discussion, then we’ll have succeeded in shifting the focus to less pressing, but more fulfilling matters. Above all else, however, the keyword is humour…if you can take our point and smile, then we’ll have achieved our goal.”
So, there you have it. A titter-fest; a non-threatening alternative to the cost-cutting, belt-tightening, efficiency drives and other Corporate cliché-ridden nonsense that surrounds us today. Rest assured, we’re not about to abandon you, dear reader. Take your copy and read it aloud, shout it from the gallery above reception if you have to, hold each issue aloft and proclaim with pride: THIS IS OUR VOICE! YOU’LL NEVER SILENCE US!
Until the next time, enjoy, my people, enjoy…