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Little Editorial – Issue 24

   Little Editorial – “Never Mind The Quantity Feel The Wit.” Flares, tank tops, floral shirts with collars so wide it took two nine-year-old boys to hold them while a

Political Cartoon – Issue 24

MAKES YOU PROUD, DOES IT NOT?

Cartoon – Style Council – Issue 24

A NEW GOVERNMENT BODY SET UP FOR THE STYLE COUNCIL SERVICES INC.

Cartoon – Art critic – Issue 24

“Michael Angelo Fife, Get Out, now!      “What for?” “How many times have you been told not to draw like a forty-nine year old. You’re only six!” DRAWING ON

Cartoon – UKip – Issue 24

“Dash it, Herbert, this move to the right is like that well-known saying: ‘Out of the Johnny foreigner panacea, into the Ready, Aim, Fire!’”

Cartoon – Queen Anne Drex – Issue 24

MASTER OF THE (QUEEN ANNE DREX) ROLLS “Come on, mata. You’ve been on the throne too long already!” “Not now, son. Go summon our batman. One cannot tear the Queen

Cartoon – Post Modernity – Issue 24

Cartoon – Careful What You Vote For – Issue 24

Cover Story – In Seventies Heaven – Issue 24

COVER STORY : IN SEVENTIES HEAVEN The Seventies: what can we say about this ten-year period? Set between the swinging 60s and the wretched 80s, with the hopes of the

Fifth Column – Tardy vs L8 – Issue 24

A debate that is evolving and diminishing simultaneously is the one about language, semantics and contextualisation of communication. A significant battlefield for the conquering of communication is usually no larger


Latest Issue

 

Issue 24 Latest Features:  style council incpost modernityOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA roll 23 bernadette reading daft soap suds OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

COVER STORY: LIVING IN SEVENTIES HEAVEN

The Seventies: what can we say about this ten-year period? Set between the swinging 60s and the wretched 80s, with the hopes of the ‘free’ 60s and the hopeless and bleak 80s, it was a time of radical change, a time of political unrest, a time of ghastly – nostalgically amusing – fashion and dubious music, yet a time of genuine hope.  (read more)

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LITTLE EDITORIAL

Flares, tank tops, floral shirts with collars so wide it took two nine-year-old boys to hold them while a third stitched them on; ‘wedgie’ shoes with heels built higher than crumbling concrete tower blocks; kipper ties and brown corduroy jackets with leather elbow patches. Yes, the contents of my search results on eBay make pitiful reading, but when you’re hot, you’re hot and I think I can carry them off. (read more)

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THOSE ETHICS GIRLS

continued from Issue 23…

In the auditorium…

Gladys: Wow! How long were those lights off? I didn’t even notice anyone leave.

Sheila: Well, it was dark when we came back from the refreshment table: perhaps they slipped out then.  (read more)

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NEWS REAL 9

PHILOSOPHICAL WHEEZE

A brightness says, ‘Never mind, you’ll get over it.’ This morning I’m willing to believe the cliche. It feels like a day for indulging in superficiality. Unmoored from analytic despair, to float on an untroubled surface and enjoy the view, while it lasts. (read more)

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POLITICAL CARTOON

out of the panacea

POO CORNER

FATHER AND SONNET

Dad, I imagine your predicament
after forty five years I want to rage
for your rescue though I’ve no equipment

(read more)
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TROTSKY’S TIFFIN

Old Mac…  The following ‘incident’ was acted out to the private strains of that perennial favourite refrain, ‘Old Macartney had some grub, eee I did, I know’. (read more)

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WEB EXCLUSIVE – WOOMAN a story by Jack Meinhoff

(read more)

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DEAR MATCHDOTCOM GUYS: I’VE BEEN QUEERED

by Heather Waters (FOI)
A groundbreaking cultural event in New York City last month was New York Live Arts’ James Baldwin, This Time! festival. James Baldwin, a gay black American, “(read more)

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FIFTH COLUMN

A debate that is evolving and diminishing simultaneously is the one about language, semantics and contextualisation of communication. A significant battlefield for the conquering of communication is usually no larger than six inches. ”(read more)

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UNCOMMON DENOMINATOR a salutary tale by Jack Meinhoff 

A story by Dennis A Pells (FOI)

The name’s Mienhof, Jack Mienhof, undercover investigative reporter. Freelance of course, and that’s the way I like it. No ties to the ‘Man’, if you know what I mean. I write what I want, I write the truth as I see it without influence or prejudice.(read more)

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OUR MAN IN HIATUS

Our fellow is, apparently, on the edge, of imagination.

It seems to be a little like the sensation you get in a plane that rises above the clouds. The colouring is stratospheric: blue gradually becoming a neutral white. (read more)

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INTERVIEW WITH CHARLES DARWIN

Eds: Hello, Mr Darwin, how’s it evolving?

CD: Funny you should ask. I’ve had God’s own job cataloguing everything.

Eds: So, people say you made a leap of faith in science?

CD: I had to make a great leap to beat Al Wallace to the publication of the theory.
(read more)

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MEDIA PAGE

TV

More tedious formulaic drivel in Drudge Dead, the bleak look at the near future. Soon the authorities will hire retired action-film stars to hunt down and slay unionised labour. (read more)

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POLITICAL CARTOON

makes ye proud
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PINK PEONY

By Pat McConnell (FOI)

Each time he read the New York Times, it was like a stiletto to Woody’s heart. The film review was merciless.

Be a-Freud. Be very a-Freud

Woody Allen’s new movie ‘Vienna Vacation’ is yet another European travelogue cum comedy that is as clichéd and sickly as a Sachertorte with chocolate fudge ice cream.(read more)

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A SURVEY OF SOME STRIKING LINKEDIN HEADLINES

by Michael L Lohafer (FOI)

A Survey of Some Striking LinkedIn Headlines –Personal Branding and Profiles have Become So Candid and Compelling!
Ethically Challenged Ex-Con/CEO Looking for New Opportunities (read more)

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TWELFTH FIGHT

PART THE THIRD of TWELFTH FIGHT sees our hero, Frank, in the only licenced victuallers in the town, The Goat, The Bard and The Ugly. He approached the bar and a gnarled, grisly looking knave is cursorily wiping at a glass. (read more)

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MODERN ART

arty michael
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JIM LADD

Jim Ladd is in a part of the country suffering from the randomness of excessive rain, and the arbitrariness of political expediency.
In the ironically named Somerset, there is a creature emerging from the depths of despair – a creature Loch Ness would franchise in no time – the entrepreneur.  (read more)

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JOS BITUMEN ARCHIVE WINDOW

More evidence has been unearthed to confirm Jos’s darkest mind, brought on by a revisit to his native New Zealand as special guest of the NZ Poetics and Semantics Association annual award ceremony.

a life of abysmal self-deception bling trophy hunting (read more)

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THE MARVELOUS MISADVENTURE OF MORTY ZIMMERMAN

by Anthony Jerome Brown (FOI)
I awoke to a typical start of a typical day: Another bagels and strip-poker rendezvous with Ethel Finkelstein was getting really hot, and – just as I was about to melt –  (read more)

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THOSE ETHICS GIRLS (ISSUE 2)

Mavis: More tea, Lil?
Lil: Don’t mind if I do, Mave.
Mavis: Help yourself to cake. You too, Gladys, Sheila.
(read more)

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goalie xmas pudding Issue 5

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JOS BITUMEN ARCHIVE WINDOW (Issue A5)

Extracts from his previously unreleased even undiscovered poems charting his playful love life. These were rescued from the back of one of Jos’s many closets.

Glove Poem #9

Your tiny hand is frozen

Slip it into me wily cozen(read more)

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JIM LADD (Issue 5)

SNOUT SPECIAL
In a secluded cesspit in northern England, Nora Legoff picked someone else’s
nose in front of her chimeras.
Nora said: “I came across the catalogue ‘Nebbs To Die For’, in the bin over there, and thought it would be nice to have smaller…  (read more)

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FIFTH COLUMN (ISSUE 12.1)

HOLLOW WEANING
We are at a time when, as passive eclectic populace we half-arsedly celebrate a day or night when legend has it that the thin membrane between the living and dead is breached. How can we tell?  (read more)

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SHARKEY (Issue 4)

“Why didn’t I warn the others? But how? Wow, I’ve not forgotten my specie codes already, have I?”
Sharkey’s warm blood ran lukewarm at the thought: I am entirely alone in this sea with no means of communicating.  (read more)

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SCENE FROM THE 21ST CENTURY (Issue 6)

THE DAY THE KIT ARRIVES.

ACT ONE
Scene: Half-light, blinds closed, yellow hue. Two people, sat opposite one
another at a table, pass photos between them with even regularity.  (read more)

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NEWS REAL (Issue 9)

TIDDLY BITS
An extract from the NEW TESTIMONIAL BOOK OF JOBS:
THOU SHALL NOT QUESTION THY EMPLOYER
THOU SHALL NOT PUT THY HUMANITY BEFORE PROFIT  (read more)